April 15th, 2008

4-15-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

So, today is April 15…
Me: “I hate paying my taxes.”
You: “You should pay them with a smile.”
Me: “I offered them a smile but they insisted on money.”

E-Z-2-Lose…
Ever wonder why it’s called the 1040 form?
It’s because for every $50 you earn, you keep $10 and the IRS gets $40.

The Perfect Pose…
occurred as the little two-year-old Nicole stood at the window and saw here first lightning. “Look, Mom! God just took my picture.”

What you don’t know won’t…
Boy: “Dad, what makes the thunder?”
Father: “I don’t know.”
Boy: “Dad, what makes the snow white?”
Father: “I don’t know.”
Boy: “Dad, you don’t mind that I bother you with all these questions?
Father: “Absolutely not, son. How are you ever going ot learn anything if you don’t ask.”

There’s this son… “How insensitive”
The golf course next to Highway 14 and these guys were walking to their next shot just as the funeral procession passed by. The one guy put his ball on the tee then took off his cap and, with his 3-iron in hand, paused. As he lined up his shot, the second guy said, “you’re really a sensitive person, noticing that funeral and everything.”
The first guy drives then says, “Yah, well… we would have been married 25 years tomorrow.”

It takes a lot of guts to play a string bass… but:
* What’s the difference between a banjo and a lawnmower? You can tune a lawnmower.
* Do you know the definition of perfect pitch? When you throw the banjo into the dumpster and it lands right on the accordion.
* Why do bagpipers always walk when they play? To get away from the noise.
* How do you make a bandstand? Take away their chairs.

The old doctor in a small town… needed a vacation. His son had graduated from med school and finished interning, so the father asked his son to take over the practice a few weeks. When the father returned he asked if anything unusual happened.
“Well, I guess,” he replied. You remember that wealthy, elderly Mrs. Jones who’s had that bad allergy for many years? I cured her.”
“Well, the timing’s perfect,” replied the father. “That allergy put you through college and med school.”

Help! Help! Please
April 23rd is secretarial/administrative assistant day. Needed: secretarial or administrative assistant joke by April 16th. I can’t find ONE in my extensive files.


Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.