May 13th, 2008

5-13-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart


Mother’s Day was Sunday so…
Yea!!

It’s Fishing Season Again
Ole and Sven made their first fishing trip up to Canada. They caught one keeper pike. Driving home they contemplated the joys of their week up North. Then, Ole remarked, “Ya know, the vay I figured our expenses dat fish cost us $400.”
“Veil,” said Sven, “at dat price it’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more.”

A little boy who loved to go fishing with his father had just learned the 23rd Psalm and was reciting it in Sunday School. When he got to the fourth verse the class hears, “…Thy rod and Thy reel, they comfort me.”

You’ve Heard the Old Adages…
Never saw a man who could fish… and worry at the same time.

Old fishermen never die… they just smell that way.

Now, shifting gears…
A Ford was stuck in the mud. A man driving a Cadillac came to the rescue. The Samaritan explained that he was on his way to a pressing appointment but would attach a cable and pull the Ford back on the road.
It was done and the Caddie was soon on its way. However, its driver, in his haste, forgot to remove the cable and sped off still attached to the Ford.
The pace grew faster and faster. Up the road a highway patrol officer attempted to stop the speeding Cadillac but with no success. Finally the patrolman radioed a message to a fellow officer ahead: “Look out for a Cadillac going 80 miles and hour. And, believe it or not, an old Ford is behind honking for the road.”

The Clergy Person
Was arrested for speeding, “Officer,” the pastor said, “I am about my Heavenly Father’s business.”
“Well, I read the same Bible, pastor. It also says, ‘Go out on the highways and byways and gather them in.’ So, that’s just what I’m doing.” (The 18th is Peace Officer’s Day)

If at First You Don’t Succeed…
A pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He phoned a plumber listed in the Yellow Pages. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, fixed the problem and handed the doctor a bill for $600.
The doctor exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much an hour as a doctor!”
The plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, “Neither did I when I was a doctor.”

And Finally…Two Fisherman
Were out on Mille Lacks when suddenly a hand appears above the water.
“What’s that,” says one. “It looks like someone is drowning!”
“No way,” says the other.
“It’s just a wave.” (so long for now).


Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.