May 6th, 2008

5-06-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

‘Have your incentive check yet?
The difference between adults and children is adults have toys that require monthly payments.

This week… professions
1. Doctor.
A woman went into the doctor’s office. “Doctor,” she asked, what should I take when I’m run down?”
He replied, “the license number.”

2. Lawyer
A doctor, lawyer and a physicist were debating which profession was mentioned first in the Bible.
“God removed a rib from Adam to create Eve,” said the doctor.
“That involved a surgical procedure, so doctors were mentioned first.”
“No, no,” countered the physicist. “God created order out of chaos and that required a knowledge of the science of matter. So my profession was mentioned first.”
The lawyer coyly smiled and said, “No, lawyers were mentioned first. Who do you tink created the chaos?”

3. How about Politicians? (we are “politically correct,” sorry).
A politician running for office got a bit carried away and spoke for two hours. Finally, he realized what happened and said, “I’m sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home.”
A voice from the back of the room called out, “There’s a calendar behind you.”

4. The Military.
Two young sailors from the Midwest were assigned aboard ship for their first duty. As they left port and stood at the bow, one motioned to the wide expanse of the ocean and said, “Did you ever see so much water in your life?”
The other replied with wonder, “Nope. And we’re only looking at the top of it!”

5. A bed and breakfast hostess.
Customer to hostess: “Why does your dog growl at me while I’m eating my pancakes? Does he want me to feed him?
“No,” said the hostess, “he’s just angry because you’re eating off his favorite plate.”

6. Business in general.
Two business partners went fishing in a small boat. Suddenly a storm blew up and the boat capsized. One of the men began to swim but his business partner floundered helplessly in his life jacket.
“Jim,” the swimmer called to the non-swimmer, “can you float alone?”
“My gosh,” cried Jim. “I’m helpless and you want to talk business.”

7. Finally, Actors.
Actors used to clean the grease paint off their faces with pork fat. That’s why we’re called “hams.”


Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.