May 20th, 2008

5-20-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

Since School Is Nearly Out…
Little five-year-old Brent came home from his kindergarten class and had a real worried look on his face.
“What’s wrong? his mother asked.
Brent explained, “We were talking about hygiene today in school. Better call a doctor for medicine, Mom. I think I have it.”

Teacher: “Can anyone tell me what a fish net is made of?”
Little Boy: “A lot of little holes tied together with strings.

Can you trust…
Two teenagers are on a tour of a modern art gallery. They find themselves alone in a room of modern sculpture staring at the twisted pipes, mounds of broken glass and tangled shapes of a mixed variety of materials in the exhibit.
One of them, really alarmed, said, “Let’s get out of here before they blame us for wrecking this place.”

Dog Gone it All
“My six-year-old son was just given a dog,” said one father to another.
“How’s it working out?”
“Well we’re sending him to obedience school. And, if it works out well, we’ll send the dog too.”

So, Who’s the Teacher Here?
According to the latest studies, more than 40% of teens talk openly with their parents about sex. And more than 20% of the parents are able to use what they learn from those talks.

The Blame Game
A teacher, after correcting and handing back little Johnny’s paper, remarked, “I don’t see how one person can make so many mistakes on his homework.”
Johnny thought a moment then replied, “It wasn’t all one person. My dad helped.”

The New Competition
Two boys from different schools meet. “I’ll bet my school’s computers are faster then your school’s computers.”

And on to College where…
One question answered incorrectly by all students tested: “If having tonsils removed is a tonsillectomy and having the appendix removed is an appendectomy, what is the term for having a growth removed from the head?”
The answer: A haircut.

And Your Future Plans are?
One college gal was going ot get a job as an airline hostess so she would meet lots of men.
“Might be a plan,” agreed her friend, “but wouldn’t you meet as many men doing something else?”
The first girl shrugged. “Could be,” she admitted, “but not strapped down.”


Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.