January 15th, 2008

1-15-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

Ole and Lars went ice fishing for the first time. When Ole got home, Lena asked how it went. “Vel, it vent goot… after we spent three hours chopping a hole in the lake BIG enough to get our boat in.”

---
A man was looking for a likely spot to drill a hole for ice fishing. Finally, he stopped, pulled his auger off the sled and had just started to drill when a booming voice from above said, “There aren’t any fish there.” The man stopped drilling, looked up and said, “Are you God?” The voice replied, “No, I’m the rink manager.”

---
The mother walked into the bathroom and found her young son trying to bandage a finger. “Johnny,” she cried, “What have you done to your finger?”

“I hit it with a hammer,” he replied.

“But I didn’t hear you crying,” she said, surprised.

“No,” came the bland reply, “I thought you were outside.”

---
Joe still turned around to admire young women when he turned 80. When his wife was asked if she minded, she replied: “Why should I be upset? Dog’s chase cars, but they don’t know what to do when they catch them.”

---
So what’s the Rx?
Does a doctor, doctor a doctor according to a doctoral doctor’s doctrine… or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor the OTHER doctors to his own doctoring doctrine.

---
A lady tourist in Florida was admiring the Indian’s necklace. “What are those things,” she asked.

“Alligator’s teeth,” he replied. After recovering her composure, she said, “Well, I suppose they would hold the same value for you as pearls do for me.”

“Not quite,” he answered.

“Anybody can open an oyster.”

---
George is certainly a confident cuss,” he said, describing a braggart.

“But it is nice to see him believe in himself, especially since some people believe in NO god at all.”

---
GOD SPEAK!!! Have you seen any of those billboards… signed by God. Some are:

“What part of ‘Thou Shalt Not’ don’t you understand?”
“Keep using my name in vain and I’ll make your rush hour longer.”
“Think… It’s hot in here?”

Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.