November 9th, 2008

11-9-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

VETERAN'S DAY IS TUE. 11TH, so we salute:

THE ARMY: The lieutenant at the training camp had a recruit assigned to keep his quarters bright and clean. He was quiet, competent and always called the lieutenant "Major."
A sergeant drew the recruit aside one morning and said, "Soldier, haven't you been in this man's Army long enough to know that one gold bar denotes a looie, not a major?"
"If it's all the same to you, sergeant," implored the recruit, "you won those stripes your way; let me earn mine my way."

THE NAVY: (how to get a "head")
The Secretary of the Navy was inspecting a recently launched carrier. The entire crew stood on deck at attention.
"I suppose," said the Secretary jokingly to the carrier's captain, "you know the name of every man on the ship."
"I think I do," was the captain's unexpected reply.
"Aha," smiled the Secretary. "What's the name of the third man from the left there in the rear rank?"
"William Jones," replied the captain.
The Secretary walked over to the seaman himself. "What's your name, lad?" he asked.
"William Jones, sir," replied Seaman Jonathan Abernathy.

THE MARINE CORP:
A career Marine, his discharge in sight, signed up for a correspondence course in electrical engineering. The application blank had a question that at first stumped him. "How long has your present employer been in business?"
The Marine finally wrote down, "Since 1776."

The newly arrived Marine enlistee from classy Long Island, NY received this letter from his "mater."
"Dear Sebastian: Now that you are on your way to being a hero in the Marine Corps, I trust you will set a good example and will arise on time every morning. The other young gentlemen in your set should not have to sit at the table and wait for you to come downstairs before they can begin eating their breakfast."

THE AIR (CORP) FORCE:
Shortly after D-Day in World War II, a pilot was chosen and dispatched from England to drop propaganda leaflets over a city in Germany. He didn't check back in at his headquarters for three weeks.
"Where have you been?" demanded his squadron leader crossly. "How could you take three weeks just to dump a load of leaflets over enemy territory?"
"Dump them?" repeated the pilot in a surprised voice, "I thought you wanted me to slip one under every door!"

THE COAST GUARD:
The U.S. Coast Guard Cutter supply ship put in at a Pacific island famed for its voluptuous and scantily clad maidens. One young non-com spent a memorable day on the beach with several of the young ladies posing them and photographing them with his camera.
An ensign watched him silently for some time. Then he inquired, "Where do you think you're going to get all that film developed?"
The reply, "Film? Who's got film?"

Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.