November 3rd, 2008

11-3-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

IT'S ELECTION TIME AND THE LADY TOLD HER FRIEND,
"What I'm looking for is a man who will treat me as if I was a voter and HE is THE candidate."

TRY TO BE OPTIMISTIC
POLITICIANS... straddle the fence, keep their fingers crossed, keep their fingers on the pulse of their constituents, point with pride, look to the future, keep both ears to the ground, will CHANGE things and think twice... before saying nothing.
No wonder we're in such trouble... too many verbs!

AND YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE...
A political candidate said that he would rather be right than be elected.
Wouldn't you hope he could be both??

AND WHO DOES THE PRESIDENT WORK FOR?
"A taxpayer is someone who words for the federal government but who doesn't have to take a civil service examination." - Ronald Reagan
SERIOUSLY... I DO HOPE YOU'VE VOTED...
AND WEAR THAT LITTLE RED STICKER.

NOW, STUFF YOU DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW
In France, the Big Dipper is known as "the casserole." In Minnesota, it's known as "the hotdish."
The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours.
When in trouble... mumble. When in trouble... delegate.
Where you stand on an issue... depends on where you sit.

THE SALESMAN WALKED INTO THE LARGE OFFICE and approached the front desk.
"I'd like to speak to someone with a little authority."
The receptionist replied: "Well, then I'm the one you need to speak to 'cause I have as little authority as anybody here."

TALK ABOUT DISCOVERY... WHEN IT CAME TO:
Automobiles: Henry could afford one.
Airplanes: Wilber and Orville were on the Wright track.
Ocean sailing: Columbus sure knew his way around.
Landing on the Moon: Neil finally had to put his foot down.

(In Oct., I was up at Camp Riley taping a D.A.V. deer hunt for "VET'S VISITS on TV." THIS did NOT happen)
Two hunters were dragging a deer through the woods by the tail when they met another hunter.
"It would be easier if you would drag it by the antlers instead of the tail," he suggested. "It won't get caught in the bushes."
They took his suggestion and switched ends. After an hour pulling the antlers one hunter said, "This is sure a lot easier."
"The other replied, "Sure is, but I think we're going in the wrong direction."


Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.