October 27th, 2008

10-27-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY
A man staying in a posh hotel called room service and read from the breakfast menu.
"I'd like one overcooked egg that's touch and hard to eat, one undercooked egg with runny whites. I'd like grilled bacon on the cold side, burnt toast, butter straight from the freezer - impossible to spread - and a pot of luke warm coffee."
"That's a complicated order, sir. It might be quite difficult and will take extra time."
"It can't be that difficult," the guest sarcastically replied. "That's exactly what you brought me yesterday morning and yes, it DID take a looong time."

NOW WE PRESENT THE THIRD PUMPKIN CAROL for your sing-along pleasure.
(to the tune of "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas")
I'm dreaming of the Great Pumpkin
Just like I do this time each year.
When he brings nice toys
to good girls and boys
Who wait for him to reappear.

I'm dreaming of the Great Pumpkin
With every pumpkin card I write.
May your jack-o-lanterns burn bright
When the Great Pumpkin visits you tonight (actually Friday).

(from the Peanuts Book of Pumpkin Carols; Ed. note: Halloween is becoming a forgotten holiday. We dedicated followers of the Great Pumpkin MUST do something to rekindle the Halloween spirit. Let us not rest until the universe resounds with Pumpkin Carols... please don't take this too seriously).

AND WHILE WE'RE IN A SERIOUS MOOD
The father was reading a Bible story to his young children. "This man, named Lot, was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city. But his wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt."
His five-year-old son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

FINALLY, QUOTES FROM FAMOUS PEOPLE (deceased)
BOILING POINT: "A woman is like a tea bag. When she's in hot water, she just gets stronger." - Eleanor Roosevelt
SECOND OPINION?: "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." - Erma Bombeck
JUST DO IT: "Leadership: the art of getting someone else to do something YOU want done because HE wants to do it." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

ALMOST FORGOT THE ELECTIONS
Why do we choose between two people for president and 50 for Miss America?


Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.