October 13th, 2008

10-13-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

I'LL NEVER GO TO A FOOTBALL GAME (EXCUSES)
1. Every time I went to a game, they asked for money.
2. Though I went to ALL the important games, nobody ever spoke to me.
3. When I went, I cheered loud, but the coach visited at MY house.
4. The benches are too hard.
5. The field judge said things I couldn't agree with.
6. I suspect those "regulars" are hypocrites (always after beer and hotdogs).
7. The band always played the same old songs (or never ones I knew).
8. Since I bought a book on football, I stay home and read it instead (I don't agree with all of it either).
9. I find the games on TV more exciting (Also MUCH more comfortable, the food's cheaper, no noisy kids... and they don't ask for money).
(Duluth, MN U. Methodist REMINDER)

NOW, WITH ELECTIONS COMING SOON...
Many politicians leave office because of illness and fatigue: people get sick and tired of them.
The reason some politicians don't have any ethics is because they don't know where to buy them.
A government big enough to give you EVERYthing you want is a government big enough to TAKE FROM you EVERYthing you HAVE.

TRY THIS FOR YOUR HALLOWEEN "SING ALONG SONG"
(sung to "Up on the Housetops")
Up in the pumpkin patch, witches pause.
Out jumps the great one, hear the applause!
Down through the rows with goodies and toys,
All for his followers, Halloween joys.
Haunt! Haunt! Haunt!
Who wouldn't want...
Haunt! Haunt! Haunt!
Who wouldn't want
to be in the pumpkin patch
CHEER! CHEER! CHEER!
Wait for the great one... and being sincere!
(from the Peanuts' Book of Pumpkin Carols)
DID you have fun with this one?? MORE next week.

HOW ABOUT THE GHOST WHO
tried out for the cheerleading squad...
just to add some team spirit!

LAST HALLOWEEN, as usual, we had a BIG bucket of wrapped candy.
One kid showed up at our door as an IRS agent. He was VERY authentic looking. He also took exactly 40% of our candy, and didn't bat an eye.

NOW THE REAL SPIRIT
Where there's LAUGHTER... there's HOPE!
"I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful." (Bob Hope)

Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.