March 11th, 2008

3-11-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart


It’s time for both…
Golf is like taxes: You drive hard to get to the green… and you end up in the hole.

Golfer: “How would you have played that shot?”
Caddy: “Under an assumed name.”

Figuring out your income tax is a lesson in addition, subtraction and extraction.

St. Paddy’s Day is the 17th so… Murphy’s Law
- In order to get a loan… you must first prove you don’t need it.
- When a broken appliance is demonstrated for a repairman… it WILL work fine.
- Everyone has a scheme for getting rich… that will ONLY work for them.
- All warranties expire… on the day of the last payment.

And it’s basketball season
The reporter was interviewing the coach.
“Do you like ALL you players to be tall?”
“Well, a player’s height isn’t important to me as long as his ears pop when he sits down.”

You know you’re getting older when…
- You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
- You wake up looking like your driver’s license picture.
- You sit down to eat breakfast and hear a snap, crackle, pop… and you’re not eating ceareal.
- You wonder how you could be over the hill. When were you even on top of it?

A clown’s prayer…
As I stumble through this life, help me to create more laughter than tears, dispense more cheer than gloom and spread more cheer than despair.
Never let me become so indifferent that I fail to see the wonder in the eyes of a child or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged.
Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people, make them happy and forget momentarily the unpleasantness in their lives.
And, in my final moment, may I hear You whisper, “When you made My creation smile, you make Me smile.” (Smiles Unlimited Clown Ministry) The Editor of this column’s oldest son is National Chaplain.


Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.