March 18th, 2008

3-18-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

Yes, spring is early this year
“So spring is here,
the grass is ‘ris,
I wonder where
my blanket is.”

And, we could STILL HAVE LATE SNOWFALL
You say your teenage driver doesn’t like to shovel the driveway when it’s over 5 inches?
Just tell them, “You’re welcome to borrow the car… after you shovel the drive.”

A Rochester visitor asks
“Is this a healthy place?”
Native: “I’ll say it is! Why when I cam here I couldn’t speak a word. I hardly had a hair on my head and I wasn’t strong enough to walk across a room. Why, I even had to be lifted out of bed.”
Visitor: “That’s fantastic. How long have you lived here?”
Native: “I was born here.”

If all the cars in the world
were placed end to end, 90% of the drivers will eventually pull out to pass the car ahead. Oh, yes, they’ll make a RIGHT at the next corner (sure happens to me!!).

Did Spring… Spring the Chicks?
Looking for signs of spring the second-grade class was studying pictures fo bird’s nests and baby chicks. A little boy asked, “Teacher, how do the chicks get out of the shell?”
Before the teacher could answer, another boy spoke up, “No sweat! I’ve seen them get out of the shell. What I want to know is, how did they ever get in there.”

Been listening to political ‘sound bites’?
Have you noticed the speeches are a lot like buying a big appliance? There are infinite promises with limited warranties.

And when you put…
the words, “the” and “IRS” together… it spells “Theirs.”

Spring is when a young man’s fancy turns to…
thinking about their beautiful relationship. He decided to pop the question and began thoughtfully, “There comes a time in every man’s life when he requires a companion, one who will look up to him, follow him with devotion and will be at his side when in need. Susan, I need that companion now.”
A smile of understanding lit up her face. “Wonderful,” she exclaimed, “what kind of dog are you going to get?”

Thought for the day
“The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goals. The tragedy lies in not setting a goal to reach.”

Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.