March 25th, 2008

3-25-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart


One Last Ice Fishing “Line”
The boy had cut his ice fishing hole, had the jig-rod in and waited a long time… not a nibble. Some 10 feet away was a man hualing in one nice fish after another.
Finally the boys went over to the man in great confusion. “What are you doing to get all these fish. I’m just 10 feet away and I haven’t had ANY luck at al.”
The guy answered in a muffled voice, “Ee yer erms orm.”
The boy didn’t understand and again asked the question. Again, the man repeated the muffled response.
Finally, in confusion, the boy asked his question a third time. The man tried to speak out the instruction but the boy still didn’t understand. The man, spitting off to the side… “spfff… I said… keep your worms warm.”

More… Minnesota Guide to Computer Daffynitions
PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas duinr da sno storm.
ENTER: come on in.
WINDOWS: vhat ya shut vhen it gets below zero.
SCREEN: vhat you gotta fix on da windows during black fly season.
CHIP: vhat ya munch during Vikings’ games.
MICROCHIP: vhat’s left in da bag when da chips are gone. (ed. yes, I am computer illiterate.)

Passover Was Last Week But Don’t You Wonder…
why it took Moses FORTY years to lead the Israelites through the desert. 1. Was it because God was testing the people? 2. Because God really wanted them to appreciate it in the Promised Land (remember, the original exiles all died) 3. Or, did it take so long because Moses refused to ask anybody for directions? Ahh, the male ego at work.

On Changing Lightbulbs...cont’d
* How many Zen Masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change it and one not to change it.
* How many feminists does it take… One to change it and 15 to form a support group.
* How many real men does it take… None. Real men aren’t afraid of the dark.

Did you hear about…
the snail that got beat up by two turtles? he went to the police and they asked him, “did you get a good look at the turtles who did this?”
No, he said. “It all happened so fast.”

Too many questions – so little time
Why is “abbreviation” such a loooong word?
Why isn’t “phonetic” spelled the way it sounds?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?


Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.