March 4th, 2008

3-04-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

WHILE TAKING HER FIRST DRIVING LESSON…
the older lady complained to the instructor “This little mirror up here just isn’t right.”
“What’s wrong with it, Mrs. Jones?”
“Well, I just can’t see a think in it… except that car following me.”

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NOW, THE TEEN-AGED DRIVER…
was always asking his parents if he could borrow the family car.
Pushed to the limit, his Dad shot back, “why do you think the Almighty gave you two feet?”
Without hesitation the son replied, “How about breaks and acceleration?”

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SO, THE MALE MOTORIST SUDDENLY STOPPED…
as the light changed to yellow. His rear bumper got bumped by the close following car. He got out and, seeing there wasn’t too much damage, glared at the man driving the other car, climbed back in and drove off.
At the next light, the same thing happened caused by the same driver. This time he apologized and held out his driver’s license.
“Look,” the victim said. “All I want from you is to give me a five minute head start.”

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FOR THE “SIZE CHALLENGED”…
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are “XL”? Doesn’t stand for “Energy Center” either.

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AND BACK TO DRIVING…
A person is trying to find a place to park, and, after 20 minutes circling the black, parks illegally leaving a note under his car windshield wiper reading: “I have circled this block for 20 minutes. I am late for a meeting and if I don’t park here… now, I will lose my job. ‘Forgive us our trespasses!”
When the person returned he found a ticket accompanied by a return note: “I have circled this block for 20 years. If I don’t give you a ticket I will lose my job. ‘Lead us not into temptation.’”

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AN ‘INTERNATIONAL’ FUNNY PUNNY…
Have you heard about the latest trouble near Turkey? Well, a group of people, the Kurds, want to have their own country, Kurdistan.
Unfortunately, Turkey isn’t willing to give them the land. Result? The ‘Curds’ won’t get their ‘whey.’ (Apology to Little Miss Muffet.)


Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.