July 15th, 2008

7-15-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

Old Philosophy…Still Valid
“Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs should just relax and get used to the idea.”

The Bible Proves Everything
A husband and wife argued about who should brew the coffee. “You should do it, “the wife said. “You get up first so we won’t have to wait so long for it.”
The husband shook his. “You’re in charge of cooking around here. It’s your job. I can just wait.”
“No, you should do it,” she glared back. “Beside, it’s in the New Testament of our Bible.”
“Show me,” he challenged.
The wife fetched their Bible and opened it to the top of several pages: “HEbrews.”

Time Waits for No Man…
* When I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire hanger and ignore suggestions that we call road service.
* When the car isn’t running well, I will pop the hood and stare at the enfine as if I know what I’m looking for. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, “I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and needed tools, I wouldn’t know where to start.” (We will then drink a cold one.)
* “You don’t have to ask if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you cried at the end of it…I didn’t
* Yes, I do think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without, it’s fine. Your hair is fine. Can we just go now?”
* Because I’m a man…I must hold the remote control in my hand while I watch TV. (Parting Shots, American Legion Magazine, July 2004)

Are you starting to see a trend?
…A woman steps out of a beauty shop…
Sue: “Oh, I love that styling! That’s so cute.”
Beth: “Do you think so? It’s not too fluffy?”
Sue: “Oh, no! It’s perfect for your face. I wish I could wear a cut like that.”
Beth: “But your hair looks fantastic. Don’t change a bit.”
…a man gets a haircut…
Stan: “Haircut?”
Bob: “Yep.”

Husbands Overheard
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always. If it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.


Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.