July 1st, 2008

7-01-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

Happy Birthday America
Your independence was made possible by men and women who were courageous and determined that they would be free of the rulers of England.
To revolt for the right to govern their colonies was the only answer and many were injured and lost their lives. They defied the strongest nation on earth…and won.
Thomas Jefferson was appointed to write the Declaration of Independence. He finished June 11, having worked on it two weeks. It was approved…with 47 changes.
We celebrate July 4th as the day representatives of the 13 colonies voted to accept you country’s birth certificate. (The signers from the past have given US this birthday present… the gift of freedom…that is NOT FREE).
from Treasury for Special Day, Hovey Revel, ©1961

July is also… National Hot Dog Month
Little Jane: “Uncle Bill took Jimmy and me to the baseball game. He bought us stuff to eat.”
Her Father: “What was the final score?”
Little Jane: “Three hot dogs for me and four for Jimmy.”

…National Iced Tea Month
She: “Oh, this is the ideal spot for our picnic.”
He: “It must be or 50 million ants and mosquitoes would think so too!”

…July 22nd begins National Veggie Week
Baby Ear of Corn: “Momma, where did I come from?”
Momma Corn: “Husk, dear. The stalk brought you home.”

Time to ask…
How many surgeons does it take to remove a light bulb? None. You don’t need it out today, but if it continues to give you trouble, you should consider having it removed.

Don’t You Love Telemarketers?
(Lady on the phone) “I need time to consider your fabulous offer. Give me your number and I’ll call you back tomorrow night during YOUR dinner.”

continued…A Minnesota guide to computer lingo
MODEM: vhat ya did to the lawns last Yuly.
DOT MATRIX: Eino Matrix’s wife.
LAPTOP: Vhere da grandkids sit.
KEYBOARD: Vhere ya supposed to hand da keys so da Misses can find em.
SOFTWARE: da plastic utensils, ya?

Thanks for you time…Share these chuckles and remember to smile …a lot. ‘Makes others wonder what you’ve been up to.”


Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.