February 22nd, 2008

2-22-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

Little George Washington said to his Father, “If I never tell a lie, how can I grow up to be president?”

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How Strange…
Abraham Lincoln walked 8 miles to borrow a book. Now, they close the library on Presidents Day.

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And for Valentine’s Day…
To her date: “Isn’t this romantic? This is just like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. My Dad hates you.”

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Cupid’s arrow hit twice…
As the little boy came home from school and asked his mother, “I got Valentine’s cards from TWO girls. Is that against the law?”

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What’s a minute worth???
A constituent called his congressman and asked, “How long does it take the government to spend 10 billion dollars?”
The congressman, who was busy on another line, said, “Just a minute.”
The constituent replied, “That’s what I thought,” and hung up.

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What a shocking development!!!
How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the giraffe and one to put the alarm clock in the bathtub.

How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but they have to do it while you eat dinner.

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And a flush beats a dog’s full house?
A tourist goes into a café and there’s a dog sitting in a chair playing poker. He says to the waitress, “Is that dog really playing poker?”
She replied, “Yes, but he’s not too good. Whenever he has a good hand, he starts to wag his tail.”

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Part one: A Minnesotan guide to computer lingo
Log on: makin da vood stove hotter
Log off: don’t add no more vood.
Monitor: keep an eye on da vood stove.
Megahertz: vend a big log drops on your bare voot in da morning.
Ram: da hydraulic thing dat makes da voodsplitter work.
Hard Drive: getting home during most of the winter.
(computer geeks are welcome to add daffynitions) Note: your editor is illiterate in THIS language.


Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.