September 1st, 2008

9-01-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

NOW, WITH SCHOOL STARTING
The first grader got home after his first day at school. His mother asked how the day went.
“O.K. I guess,” he replied, then added, “Except during spelling period the teacher didn’t know how to spell ‘cat.’ So I told her.”
(National American Legion magazine, Parting Shots)

THE PAROCHIAL SCHOOL TEACHER
asked the five year old if he knew the name of the first man God put on earth.
The little boy said, “Hoss.”
The teacher asked, “What did you say?”
The little boy replied, “I said Hoss.”
The teacher said, “No, it was Adam.”
Little boy said, “I knew it was one of the Cartright boys.” (ED. Remember clean family TV?)
(National V.F.W. magazine, jestaminute)

THE SCHOOL CAFETERIA HAD EQUIPMENT PROBLEMS
and, instead of a hot meal, served peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. As the satisfied eight-grader left he complimented the cafeteria manager,
“Finally, you gave us a home-cooked meal.”

TO JR. HIGH BOYS WERE STANDING IN THE
hall waiting for the bell to ring to start class the first day of school.
As the very pretty new girl passed by he whispered to his pal, “Wow, when I stop hating girls, she’s the one I’m going to stop hating first.”

OVER IN THE S.E. MOUNTAINS, THE FIRST YEAR
college girl was visiting back home. Her uneducated father asked: “Hey gal, what ‘ya learnin’ up at that fancy school?”
The girl said, “Well Pa, I’m studying history, psychology and English.”
That’s good, Sally.”
“I’m also studying algebra.”
“That’s fine. Say something in algebra for me.”
Not wanting to let her Daddy down she thought for a minute, then thoughtfully pronounced, “PI – r – square.”
The old man exploded, “If that’s what they’re learnin’ ya, you kin jest stop goin’ right now and wastin’ my money. Everyone knows pie are round and corn bread are square.”

AND BACK TO THIRD GRADE WHERE
Johnny was having a tough time with his homework. Finally, he asked his mother if she would help him.
“I’m sorry, Son. If I helped you it wouldn’t be right.”
“But gee, Mom,” he pleaded, “you could at least try.”

FINALLY, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE IN EDUCATION… AND LIFE.
In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.
AND… a B.A., M.A., D.A., Ph.D, M.Div., etc. won’t hurt you, if you’re willing to learn something later.

Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.