September 29th, 2008

9-29-08
Time To Chuckle
By: Jerry Barnhart

WITH HUNTING SEASON IN THE AIR…
The minister who was an avid hunter purchased a hunting dog which the seller called a miracle dog. He would give no explanation just stating, “You’ll see.”
Duck season began and the minister took the dog to his blind by the lake. They waited and soon the birds flew low. He took aim, fired, a duck hit the water and the dog took off to retrieve the bird. BUT the dog walked right ACROSS the water, grabbed the bird and walked back.
Stunned, the minister now knew the reason the animal was called a miracle dog. He then decided that using this dog would be a perfect way to convert his hunter friends who were non-believers.
Several days later, he and a friend went hunting figuring that his miracle that his miracle dog would convert him. After all no one could deny their very eyes.
As before, at the blind, they watched the birds fly over the lake. The minister shot, a bird fell, the dog walked across the water and retrieved it. The atheist friend was silent. The clergy took another shot; the dog repeated the miracle.
The minister turned to his friend and said, “John, don’t you notice ANYthing unusual about my dog?”
“Sure. He can’t swim.”

WITH ELECTIONS COMING, HOW ABOUT ONE A WEEK?
The TV news reporter on the sidewalk asked a retired man what he thought of the presidential candidates for the election.
“Well, when I read and look at all the coverage I’m thankful that only one of them can get elected.”

FOOTBALL SHORTIES
How is an airline pilot like a football player?
They both like to make safe touchdowns.

What’s green, has bumps and plays football?
The Green Bay Pickles.

Why did the ghost try out for the cheerleading squad?
To add a little team spirit.

Teacher: Johnny, name the four seasons.
Johnny: Football, basketball, baseball and soccer.
(ED. I went out for football in Jr. High, made the second team. Instead of playing full back, I preferred the safety position… WAY back of the bench. Actually first chair trumpet was best.)

ANOTHER MIRACLE?
The father and small son were out duck hunting—the dad bragging about how good a hunter he was. When a lone duck flew over, he took careful aim and fired. The duck kept flying.
The father wasn’t upset. He turned to the boy and said, “Son, you have just witnessed a miracle. There flies a dead duck.”

Have a joke for Jerry? Send us your favorite joke and Jerry will choose his favorite for publication. Send jokes to:

Attn: Time To Chuckle
The Rochester Buyer’s Guide & Community News
515 Rocky Creek Dr. NE
Rochester, MN 55906

‘Time To Chuckle’ contributor, Jerry Barnhart, is the founder & producer of “Vet’s Visits” on T.V. “Vet’s Visits” airs Monday through Sunday 6-8 am & Monday through Thursday at 6 pm on Cable Access Channel 10 in Rochester.